Your girlfriend's got talent.
Your girlfriend's got talent. is the second Equals Three episode on the Ray William Johnson channel. The episode's title references the popular variety show America's Got Talent. Description Cutest. Thing. Evar!! Your girlfriend sings all over YouTube. Some old guy smokes a pipe. A lot. Swine flu-- a big deal? Plus, why did the chicken cross the road? Script Opening Titles What the fuck is happening forum? Let me just say it has been quite a terrible week. That is until fellow vlogger Always Text Back led me to this random video of this slow loris being tickled. There he is, look at this fury little bastard. Cutest. Thing. Evar!! He looks like a raccoon with down syndrome, dudn't he? Don't you just want to grab it and pet it and snuggle with it and spoon with it and kiss it on the mouth with some tongue. No? That, that's just me? Cool Transition Speaking of kissing filthy animals on the mouth, the other day I ran across some footage of your girlfriend. There she is, say hi to your girlfriend; who apparently likes to sing. :plays In fact your girlfriend likes singing so much she made an entire YouTube Channel. Where she states and I quote: "I'm a singer. Everyone tells me I have the best voice of all their friends. I'm planning someday to get discovered and become famous." And how could your girlfriend not get discovered with talent like this. :continues I'm just saying, clearly your girlfriend is going places. Cool Transition Oh and by the way forum, you all just lost the game. Cool Transition Listen though, we've talked about a lot of videos on this show: from guys who hump inflatable animals to guys who choke themselves to this pole dancing dad. But the channel I'm about to show you was sent to me by user GenevieveAmok. This channel defies explanation. Like literally I thought about this all week and I still can't figure this shit out, check it out. So there's this old guy right, yeah him, and as you can see he is clearly smoking a pipe and um... that's it. Like literally this weird old guy makes two to three-minute videos of himself just smoking his fucking pipe. But that's not the strangest part, oh no! The part that blows my mind is that this weird old guy uploads literally around twenty six videos a day and they're all of him smoking his Goddamn pipe. Twenty six videos a day, his YouTube channel has over seven thousand videos and he literally never talks, he never does anything but smoke a pipe for a couple of minutes. Can anyone tell me what the fuck would motivate someone to upload twenty six videos a day of them just smoking a pipe? I've seriously done nothing but try and solve this conundrum all week: I've set up graphs, pie charts to try and figure this out... and I got nothing. It blows my fucking mind! Cool Transition Forum, let's talk about this whole swine flu thing for a minute. Plenty of you have been written me regarding this and I'd like to put it into perspective. In the United States so far there's been one confirmed swine flu death, you know how many people die each year from the regular flu? About thirty six thousand. So there's no reason yet to freak the fuck out. Look, I'm not asking you to go fuck Ms. Piggy, I'm just suggesting that you chill. I'm not sure what the hell everyone's been smoking but you should definitely film it and post it on YouTube twenty six times a day. Look, every time you get nervous about the swine flu, I want you to think happy thoughts, like think of this: tickling this fury little bastard. Or, if it helps, think of your girlfriend's singing. :resumes Cause you know her talent always makes me feel better. Speaking of your cracked out girlfriend's bad singing, I want you guys to know something before you write me like: Listen your crazy ass girlfriend is actually trollin'. Look at this video of her from a year ago where she looks and acts totally normal and she's actually kinda cute when she isn't... you know... showing off her talent. :continues Well now that is entertainment. You want to know what else is entertaining? The question of the day. Cool Transition The Comment Question of the Day comes from a user named KickAssChick69 and she said: Why do men find boobs so enticing? I bet if I do this half the guys will get turned on a little bit. So that's it, pretty simple, why do guys like boobs? Leave your interesting or creative answers in the comments section below. And don't forget to submit your video for the next episode's Comment Question of the Day. Cool Transition But thanks for watching today's episode of Equals Three, I'm Ray William Johnson and I approve this message. So tell me forum, why did the chicken cross the road? Characters Featured Troll_02.png|The Troll Comment Questions Submitted Responded Extras *In this episode, Ray included a 6th answer in its Video Response form of an unknown user responding: :The chicken crossed the road to get away from all of you, all of yoooooooooooou. Video [[Video:Your girlfriend's got talent.|thumb|660px|left]